Parsha Vayera: Abraham's Argument About Sodom and Building a Relationship with G-d

Sometimes it seems difficult to have a relationship with G-d. One reason has to do with the very nature of G-d. After all, G-d is Infinite, Transcendent Oneness. In that respect, G-d is completely other. At least from a Jewish standpoint, mysticism is an attempt to bridge that gap and understand that which is incomprehensible. Fortunately, we don't have to go towards something as esoteric or abstract as mysticism. We can simply take a look at this week's Torah portion. In this week's Torah portion, we see an exchange between Abraham and G-d about the fate of Sodom (Genesis 18:17-33). This is the famous scene where G-d announces that He is going to destroy Sodom and Gomarrah. Abraham pleads with G-d to save the cities for the sake of the righteous. Abraham is able to successfully bargain with G-d and asks that G-d save the cities provided there are ten righteous men. G-d agrees, but as the story goes, the cities are ultimately destroyed since there are not even ten righteous men.

What I find interesting about this passage it that provides some guidance for how to have a relationship with G-d. Since G-d is this powerful, all-knowing being, He is clearly higher in the hierarchy. In that respect, G-d sets the tone for how to have a relationship with Him. G-d allows for us to have a relationship with Him, and we see that from this passage. How so? For one, G-d wonders if He should hide the announcement of destroying Sodom from Abraham (Genesis 18:17). G-d is not asking for Abraham's input or assumes that it would influence divine judgement. Nevertheless, G-d expresses concern about Abraham's opinion and whether He should let Abraham know. This concern implies that Abraham's potential reaction could have longer-term implications for their relationship.

The second point is that G-d "goes down to Sodom" (Genesis 18:20) before formally rendering a verdict. Rashi teaches that G-d did not literally ascend because G-d is not only omnipresent, but He is all-knowing. Rather, it is to teach us that a judge must not give a verdict in a court case without examining the evidence. If Abraham is expected to behave justly and righteously, Abraham needs to see that behavior exhibited by G-d. It is at this point in the story that G-d is setting the tone for a more profound relationship between Him and Abraham. Once we see G-d opening the door, we see Abraham walk through and give us a few pointers on how to interact with G-d:

1. Abraham was "but dust and ashes" (Genesis 18:27). Humility is a recurring theme throughout the Hebrew Scriptures (Tanach), and this verse illustrates Abraham's humility. The prophet Micah (6:8) teaches us what G-d requires from us, and it's not sacrifices. G-d teaches that we should act justly, love mercy, and finally, walk humbly with G-d. We see Abraham walk humbly with G-d when he refers to himself as "dust and ashes." 
2. Abraham remained standing before G-d (Genesis 18:22). How could Abraham be humble and remain standing before G-d?  In a religion such as Islam, practitioners are prostrated before G-d to act humbly. Not so in Judaism. R. Simcha Bunim of Peshischa, an 18th-century Hasidic rabbi, attempts to resolve the paradox. He taught that we should carry two notes in our pockets. The first should be the aforementioned verse from Genesis 18:27: "I am but dust and ashes." The second should say "For my sake was the universe created" (Mishnah Sanhedrin 4:5). Remember, Moses was "very humble," but his humility did not stop him from leading the Jewish people. It was a necessary component. It reminds us that humility is not about being weak or meek, but rather about having a balanced and accurate understanding of the self. It is with that humility that Abraham remains standing before G-d. 
3. G-d wants us to argue and be engaged (Genesis 18:23-32). The fact that Abraham has this argument with G-d says a lot. One is that Abraham should be engaged with the process. The fact that Abraham was able to negotiate with G-d, and get the number of required righteous people down from 50 to 10 says a lot about the process. It is not as if Abraham was going to let the people of Sodom and Gomorrah completely off the hook. He stopped at ten, which shows how we have give and take in any relationship, including that with G-d. 
4. Our definition of justice goes beyond what happens in the home (Genesis 18:24). The passage asks if there are 50 righteous in "the midst of the city" (בתוך העיר). This phrase teaches us that righteousness is not about what we do privately, but how we treat others publicly. Furthermore, righteousness is still a standard to abide by, regardless of the environment (Artscroll). 
5. We are to intercede for others, regardless of their shortcomings (Genesis 18:23-24). How those of Sodom behaved was the antithesis of Abraham. Sodom sinned because they were prideful and did not care for the poor or needy (Ezekiel 16:48-49). Abraham was the opposite of Sodom. Nevertheless, he negotiated with G-d on their behalf. This shows the vigor and tenacity that we should argue with G-d (R. Avigdor Miller).

In a sense, our relationship with G-d is to be one of balance. We take into account the idea of justice, as well as love, thereby creating mercy. We are to balance our inferiority to G-d while acknowledging that we are still created in His Image. We are to argue with G-d, but there is still a point that even after the arguing and negotiating, that one eventually accepts. If this exchange is to remind us of anything, it is that building a relationship with G-d is complicated. We might not completely accept or agree with what is to happen or does happen, but it does not mean we cannot develop a meaningful relationship with G-d. It just means it's not as straightforward as some would like to think.