As much as I love the themes of Passover, I have found the dietary restrictions on Passover to be grueling. It has made me wonder why the holiday lasts for an extended period of time, especially since the Passover seders happen at the beginning of the holiday. Then I came across this quote from Rabbi David Wolpe about how we spend the holiday spinning out the lessons and the questions that come as a result of our Passover experience.
I felt that was especially true this year. As part of my Passover preparations this year, I wrote a piece on how we are meant to help out others as a part of the liberation process that we are meant to experience on Passover. There was a quote from Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel that I found particularly striking: "The opposite of freedom is not determinism, but hardness of heart. Freedom presupposes openness of heart, of mind, of eye and ear."
I have always highly valued freedom. It would help explain why I ended up becoming a libertarian. What the Heschel quote triggered for me was introspection on what freedom really means. As the Passover story illustrates, when you live under an oppressive regime, being free is nigh impossible. I believe man has a desire to be free, as we can see in history with numerous revolutions of people being under the heel of an overbearing, tyrannical government. Government is certainly a major oppressor in human history, but it is not the only form. We can find subtler forms of slavery or oppression with societal or familial expectations, the rat race, consumerism, certain religious communities, or peer pressure.
Even if you remove all those external pressures, there is still one obstacle left to acquire freedom: yourself. I'm not going to get into my personal life here, but I will say that this is a lesson I have had to learn the hard way and I am still working on in because it is part of the process. The Jewish ethical text Pirke Avot (4:1) asks "Who is mighty?" The answer: He who conquers his evil inclination (הכובש את יצרו). By addressing one's internal struggles, the ghosts from our past, and the emotional baggage can we become freer.
Rabbi Heschel had a salient point: to be free, we need to be more open. How do we reach that level of freedom where we are from pressures both external and internal? Here are a few ways I reflected on during my Passover celebration this year that I believe will help with that journey.
1. Dichotomy of control. It seems like a tautology, but we have more freedom when we have more choices. There are moments where we might feel really stuck to the point where the only thing we can control is our response to a terrible situation. Much more often than not, there are choices there if we look for them. This is where the Stoic concept of dichotomy of control comes in. I was not able to control whether there was a pandemic or if the gyms closed in 2020, but I focused on getting more exercise in my life all the same because I knew not doing so would be bad for both my physical and mental health. This also happens when other unfortunate occurrences happen, whether it is losing a job, a car accident, getting robbed or assaulted, or a divorce. In the majority of situations, we can find a way to work through or past a bad situation. If we blame an unfortunate event on family, friends, systemic racism, or some other external force, that is a recipe for more unhappiness. To be freer, we need to focus our lives on what we can control instead of what we cannot.
2. Gratitude. Much like with dichotomy of control, gratitude is a matter of mindset. How does gratitude lead to greater freedom? Humans are prone to a negativity bias. All things considered equal, it is easier for us to see the negative. In Hebrew, the term for gratitude (הכרת הטוב) means "to recognize the good." Gratitude makes us freer is because it gives us the ability to see the world in a different light. Not only that, the more positive mindset gives us the energy to use our freedom and pursue what we want in life.
3. Discipline and Structure. During Passover, I was listening to the Mindset Mentor podcast by Rob Dial Jr. (highly recommended!). He said that discipline is a way to freedom. That seems paradoxical since freedom is about doing what you want, right? This harkens back to a conversation I had at a past Passover seder. The word seder (סדר) in Hebrew means "order." There is a place for structure in our lives. In music, if we get rid of chords, time signatures, and tempos, it becomes noise. In baking or chemistry, if you do not have the right ingredients in the right proportion, things can go very wrong very quickly. Mark Manson actually brings up this paradox of freedom. We do not have the time or energy to do everything possible in the world. By committing to certain things, you have to exclude alternatives. This is not an argument to be overly rigid or detail-obsessed. At the same time, if we do not have a vision or a sense of where we are going or what we want to do, we forego our freedom. Rather than have the choice of what we want, external forces will help determine where our lives go.
4. Kindness. I want to conclude today with the point that Rabbi Heschel made in his quote. Freedom is about openness, in this instance, of the heart. Humans have a tendency of being self-interested, a tendency that the Torah recognizes (Genesis 8:21). I do not think that is prima facie a bad thing. The Midrash (Breishit Rabbah 9:7) brings up that without this self-interest, we would not build a home, get married, have a job, or do much of anything. We need that drive, that self-interest. As a side note, what I like about capitalism is that it channels self-interest into mutually beneficial transactions that help out all involved. But as I wrote a couple of weeks ago, part of what is freeing about kindness is that it gives us more options. As the Mental Health Foundation brings up, acts of kindness "can boost feelings of confidence, being in control, happiness, and optimism." These byproducts of acts of kindness (including the helper's high) allow us to live freer lives.
Postscript: Being able to do what you want provided that you do not harm others is of utmost importance. That freedom within the nonaggression axiom is vital to finding personal meaning in our lives. As important as it is, it is not enough to "do what you want." If we want to truly be free, we need to expand our options. Sometimes, that is in being kinder or more grateful. That also includes focusing on what we can control and having structures in place to make sure we pursue what we want. But without being more disciplined and open to life's opportunities, we will not be able to be truly free.
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