Parsha Vayetze: Thanksgiving and Experiencing Gratitude in the Unexpected

Across the United States today, families are gathering to celebrate the holiday of Thanksgiving. While a huge feast is common, Thanksgiving is a rarity in U.S. culture when people collectively sit down and acknowledge the good in their lives. There is a tacit truth about Thanksgiving that few mention: it is significantly easier to feel gratitude when all is well, whether it is a table full of food for Thanksgiving or when you are living moments that are picture-perfect for Instagram. In reality, gratitude can be quite complicated. 

That complexity is illustrated in this week's Torah portion. Jacob does not experience gratitude from a place of plenty, but from a place of discomfort. Jacob stole the birthright from his brother, Esau (Genesis 27:18-29). Esau is so angry he wants to kill Jacob (27:34-41). As a result, Jacob is on the run (27:41-43) and ends up wandering the wilderness (28:10-12) with no support system whatsoever and uncertain of what his future will look like. Jacob not only hits rock bottom metaphorically. He literally uses a rock as a pillow to fall asleep (28:11). 

It was during this low point when Jacob had the famous dream of the ladder reaching heavenward. In the dream, Jacob was promised four things: that G-d is with Jacob; that G-d will protect Jacob; that Jacob will eventually return back to the Land promised to the Patriarchs; and G-d reconfirmed the covenantal blessings (28:13-15). What was Jacob's response?

And Jacob woke up and said, "'Surely the Lord was in this place, and I did not know.' And he was afraid and said, 'How awesome is this place! This is none other than the house of G-d, and this is the gate of heaven.'" - Genesis 28:16-17

One thing we see here is that gratitude is not about abundance. It is a recognition of goodness without certainty. To quote Pirke Avot (4:1), "Who is rich? The one who rejoices in their lot." Abundance is not a prerequisite for gratitude because if it were, the vast majority of humanity throughout history could not express it. Although abundance can enhance gratitude, gratitude is more about perspective and noticing the good in life. Jacob was not thankful because his problems disappeared or that he actually received anything. After all, Jacob still was homeless, penniless, and wandering around the wilderness without knowing what was in store for his future. At that moment, he was able to admit that the goodness and divine presence were there all along, and wished that he saw it sooner. There are blessings if we slow down enough to see and experience them. Jacob realized that all was not lost and that there was still hope, and that was enough to express gratitude. 

If anything, gratitude requires an acceptance that life includes an element of hardship. I recently spent the past three months traveling around Peru, Argentina, Uruguay, and Colombia. While there were some upscale neighborhoods, for the most part, I would not consider Latin America a place of material abundance like I do with the United States or the rest of the western world. I talked with a number of people on this voyage. While they had a myriad of challenges, they still said "todo está bien," that everything is okay. I do not think they say that because they believe that literally every aspect of their life is hunky-dory. Cultures with less material abundance often show more gratitude, joy, and connection because they realize that life has meaning, that good can still be found, and that in spite of uncertainty, we are held by something larger than ourselves. Simplicity, trust, and awareness matter much more than being a millionaire. 

What we see in this week's Torah portion is a Jewish moment of "todo bien." What is even more remarkable is what Jacob does after expressing gratitude. He took that stone, built a pillar, and poured oil on the stone to anoint it (Genesis 28:18). This is very remarkable for a few reasons: 

1. It was transformative because what felt uncomfortable and painful at the time was able to become a monument of meaning. Jacob took something both painful and seemingly mundane as a stone into a literal stepping-stone towards blessing. 
2. Jacob received this dream outside the land of Israel (Ramban's commentary on Genesis 28:18), thereby reminding us that G-d truly is everywhere. 
3. This altar embodies spiritual simplicity. It did not need silver, gold, or a bunch of religious laws. It was a real, grounded, and unpretentious expression of gratitude and spiritual connection. 
4. Jacob elevated the mundane into the holy. Jacob did not merely sit with his feelings. He took his feelings and had them transformed into action. Gratitude is actionable, tangible, and grounded, not merely feeling. It reminds us that actions speak much louder than words or mere emotions. 

The holiday of Thanksgiving encourages us to encounter blessings in the otherwise seemingly mundane, whether it is warmth, a home, or relationships. Judaism takes this concept a step further: we are called to lean into the blessing when life is unsettled, tumultuous, or downright rocky. True gratitude does not wait for perfect moments. Like Jacob wandering the wilderness, the most beautiful and holiest forms of thanksgiving entail a simple acknowledgment of the good that exists alongside unanswered questions, unsolved problems, and challenges. By seeing and acting on that goodness, we transform the ordinary into the sacred and recognize that hope, meaning, and spiritual connection are within reach.