Like many Millennials, I use multiple forms of social media. While I am against a TikTok ban, one form of social media I decide to personally not use TikTok. I am not apprised to what normally happens in TikTok world. However, there was one viral TikTok post that recently caught my eye. A couple of weeks ago, a Gen-Z TikTok user by the name of Sarah Trefren (TikTok user name of chaotic_philosopher) was venting because she had asked in a job interview if there are accommodations for those who struggle with time blindness and being on time. According to Trefren's account, the interviewer replied by saying that accommodations for time blindness do not exist and "that if you struggle with being on time, you'll never be able to get a job." Trefren proceeded to opine that a culture that values being on time needs to be dismantled. She then concluded by saying entitlement is saying that entitlement is treating those [with time blindness] with such disrespect.
Needless to say, the comment section flared up. Some were supportive of Trefren's gripe. Plenty more commenters responded with mockery and hostility. When I heard the video, it sounded like another whiny youngster making excuses because she cannot cut it in the work world. My initial gut reaction was with the naysayers that goes beyond certain negative stereotypes of the Gen-Z crowd or a more pervasive trend towards people feeling the need to pathologize everything to excuse their inadequacies.
Forget that I have Nordic and Germanic ancestors or that business operations run more smoothly when on time. There is a reason why people get annoyed sitting two hours in a doctor's waiting room. Being on time is an indicator of reliability and trustworthiness: you get something done when you say you will or you arrive when you say you will. Furthermore, being consistently and chronically late shows disrespect for others' time. Imagine an Uber driver who cannot get their passenger to the airport on time. What about a doctor who is late for an urgent, life-saving surgery and the patient dies on the operating table because the doctor "forgot the time?" Plus, you would not be happy if the payroll department of your employer sent out an email saying, "We're not going to pay you this month. Please wait longer for your paycheck because we're dealing with a nasty case of time blindness."
Then I thought about the concept of time blindness for a moment. Having difficulty with a perception of time is a common with those who have Attention Deficit/Hyperactive Disorder, or ADHD for short. Estimates for adults with ADHD range from 0.4 percent to 5.8 percent. It does not show up solely in ADHD, but can also manifest in depression, anxiety, or post-traumatic stress disorder. It does not have to go to such extremes. There's the phrase "time flies when you're having fun." I can say that when I have really gotten into writing pieces for this blog, I have gotten so immersed in the process that I have lost track of time and hours have passed. It happened to me when I wrote this piece! The phenomenon is called the "flow state" or "being in the zone."
For argument's sake, let's give Trefren the benefit of a doubt. Let's assume that she is not lazy or wants to whine simply because she cannot handle the working world. Let's assume she legitimately has issues with time perception and keeping track of time, both of which result in chronic tardiness. Even if we are to assume Trefren's case of time blindness is a real condition, it does not matter. Why?
We all have our strengths and weaknesses. Some are not good with time. Others are bad with directions or numbers. There are those who do not have much in way of physical strength. Part of being an adult is being able to compensate and learn how to function in the world. While technology has given us certain conveniences that were unimaginable by our ancestors, the reality is that life is still difficult. Part of life is learning to surmount or at least manage life's travails and challenges.
I do not elevate time blindness to a full-blown disability. Take Helen Keller as an example. She dealt with deafness and literal blindness. Do you think that Helen Keller moaned and complained to everyone in earshot that she was blind and deaf expecting accommodations for every last thing? Of course not! She didn't whine about how life is unfair and how the world should cater to her every last need. She developed the resilience and grit necessary to co-found the American Civil Liberties League (ACLU) and author 14 books. Helen Keller did not play victim and she had way more many obstacles than TikToker Sarah Trefren has in her life. Helen Keller's strength and resolve are what make her admirable.
This victimhood is the result of over a half-century of participation trophy and entitlement mentality in which schools teach that everyone is special. Sarah Trefren pointing her finger at society, calling for the system to be dismantled, and for people to cater to her is unsurprising given the aforementioned cultural undercurrents. It also explains how a phenomenon such as fat acceptance has gained traction in spite of a ton of evidence showing that obesity is bad for one's health. It is easier to eat a lot of sweets than it is to exercise 3-4 days a week. Laying on your couch and binging Netflix is more fun than planning a healthy diet. Stoic author Ryan Holiday once called self-control and discipline unsexy, but they are vital for living a successful and meaningful life.
Dealing with time management is no exception. If Trefren or anyone who wants to use "time blindness" as an excuse were to take any sense of personal agency, they would buy an alarm clock or use the alarm setting on her smartphone. They could use apps and services that can help with scheduling. And don't forget about the Pomodoro technique or the number of other techniques! There is no need for employers to make accommodations when technology makes it possible to manage time.
What Sarah Trefren does not seem to realize is that self-victimization does not lead to success. And it sure doesn't lead to happiness. When I covered the topic of why conservatives are happier than liberals, I found that resilience and a sense of personal agency are two characteristics that lead to happiness. What Sarah Trefren's reaction implies it is that she lacks these traits. The hard truth is that this goes beyond a single TikToker who has not figured out the art of time management. It is about a society that finds more comfort in laziness and victimhood. It takes a fair bit of discipline, perseverance, and resilience to overcome one's weaknesses or shortcomings. But why do that when you can cry victim and think that people will exempt you from a basic sign of courtesy and respect?
Back when I was in college, I thought that the real world would have taken these snowflakes, chew them up, and spit them out for being too fragile. Instead, we have taken that unexpected turn of catering to their every last kvetch and encouraging fragility along the way. This is not about an isolated incident of a TikTok who cannot make it in the work world. It is reflective of a growing group of people that would rather envy than create, complain rather than fix, and play victim rather than take personal responsibility and grow. The extent to which we cater to those playing victim will undoubtedly help determine the resilience and strength of this nation in the years to come.
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